Filed under: Lifestyle
AVB PICTURES
PRESENTS
IN ASSOCIATION WITH
AN ACQUAINTANCE OF CONVENIENCE (AOC)
PRODUCTION
A WUMMY FILM
starring
“The Consultant”, “The Banker”and WUMmy
in
THE CONSULTANT’S LIST
It was a saturday morning, in the wee hours, merely a day before The consultant’s flight that the AVB set out to Mustafa to aid the consultant in shopping for items he required for his trip.The items in question included a luggage bag, grocery items, a multi-plug,and an alarm clock amongst others.
It is imperative for one to check the specifications and functions of an item to see that it meets one’s requirements;especially when one doesn’t intend to pay for it.;)
Some major posturing by the banker;somebody smack the knob!
Luggage bag hunting! Torn between a 100 dollar bag and a 200 dollar one, the consultant proceeded to act in a manner any sensible Boyanese in his position would; steal both. 
Grocery shopping; a year’s supply of food for a month long stay.
Some portugese concotion the banker claims his ancestors came up with.Once again…can someone please smack the cunt! 
Something the banker picked up,continuing his long line of ceaselessly ridiculous antics. Somebody needs to tell the knob though; its a SEX TIPS manual for people who actually perform the “ol in and out”aka fornication; not a masturbation manual…thick twat.
The consultant and the banker apparently sharing and amusing each other with an unfunny joke, when in fact are plotting to thief what lies beneath the glass display.
And with that our little adventure at Mustafa came to an end.Parts of it had to be censored in view of making this site a family oriented one. So we had to exclude the portion when we ran into a posse of the fittest transvestites to grace this side of our lovely island. I apologise for not being able to provide you with exclusive pictures of the banker getting lynced by our friendly transvestites when he made an indiscrete pass at one of them.
THE END
Filed under: Movies
In 1999, a lass by the name of Antonia Bird directed this film; a heady cocktail of the finer elements of Vampirism crossed with that of Cannibalism, sinister black wit and even an ancient native American legend thrown in for good measure. It stars the inimitable Robert Carlyle (Trainspotting, Full Monty), Guy Pearce (Memento, LA Confidential), one of the finest actors of his generation, and supported by a whole host of others which includes David Arquette and Jeffrey Jones.
“It’s lonely being a cannibal. Tough making friends.”
A deliciously wicked tale in the best traditions of B-grade flicks which are destined for legendary cult status. It gathers momentum at a leisurely measured pace, before mercilessly unleashing the bloody carnage upon us; all the while maintaining its quirky odd-ball sense of humour, which is very much helped by the soundtrack employed by Damon Albarn (yeah what the fuck is he doing here!) of Blur and Gorillaz fame, and Michael Nyman which alternates between atmospheric and audacious. (more…)
Filed under: AVB EXPOSE
The attendance for the SCE D&D 2006 VIVA LAS VEGAS was far higher than the anticipated figure,a landmark, surpassing the numbers from all the previous years. The commitee had done a great job promoting the event and deserves a pat on the back for the effort.
Packed tables at the dinner hall
So it turns out that the banker’s incompetence meant we had to miss out on the first 2 courses. But having not paid for entree like every other schmuck, there was very little to moan about, wasn’t there?. But then again, being “the VIP guest of honour”, i didn’t have to did i? 
Yes there are muslims in SCE…and yes it was 100% halal or so they might like us to believe.
The fried rice a minute before and after i began digging in. It was by no means brilliliant, but i was hungry.
The absolutely deplorable almond beancurd with longan
The Menu
Barbecue Combination – unrated (no thanks to the banker)
Szechuan lobster – unrated (once again..)
Sauteed Baby Clam & Scallop with Black Bean Sauce – 6/10
Crisp Fried Sea Bass in Thai Style – 7.5/10
Braised Mushroom with Spinach – 3/10
Deep Fried ‘Nam Yee’ chicken – 7/10
Yang Chow Fried Rice – 5.5/10
Chilled Almond Bean curd with longan – 5/10 (saved by the longan)
Overall- 9/10
Verdict – OUT OF THIS WORLD!
continued in part 3
-WUMmy
Filed under: Shout Out
This post might be a little delayed with just slightly more than an hour left before the day ends, but at least we’re still within the 25th.:D The AVB would like to extend its heartiest birthday wishes to the man whose birth name is the elaborately conceived Dachiraju Ragavendra Raju; but who is simply known as Raju amongst his mates.
To commemorate the day, The AVB dug up an “old school” picture of the man in all his glory. A picture which has resurfaced after not having seen the light of day for more than 2 years now.But we at the AVB felt it would be a fitting tribute to the man.;)
“old school” Raju back then in the summer of 2004
- The Editor
Filed under: AVB EXPOSE
Alright fellas, the long overdue SCE D&D 2006 Viva Las Vegas post that had been delayed due to some “technical difficulties” is finally here…Oh joy! The AVB( the banker and i ) managed to crash the party (me posing as a VIP sponsor )which was held at Raffles town club on the 1st of September, and bring to you this exclusive coverage, along with some very dodgy pictures.( My apologies, but i had yet to master the art of taking pictures with the banker’s second-rate digicam. Under the tutelage of the consultant, my photography skills has progressed in leaps and bounds since.)
driving there on the AVB mobile
Needless to say, with the banker driving, we got lost trying to get there, and drove in circles around Bukit Timah and Dunearn before reaching our point of destination.
chilling out before the big late entrance
So while we waited at the car park lobby looking for the opportunemoment to make our entrance, guess who decides to show up to welcome us.THE LOGISTICS OFFICER! The V-man himself!
the V-man’s grand entrance. the camera adores him.
The V-man was up to his usual antics, and i had to remind him that he had better watch his the manner of speech when conversing with yours truly, the sponsor ! I think he got the idea.:D
Hereafter, we managed to sneak in to the dinner hall with consummate display of tactical maneuvering evading the attention of potentially nosey onlookers as we sat ourselves at the VIP table. The banker turned on his charm full swing as he introduced himself to the VIP guests(the genuine articles). I on the other hand was aghast to discover that we had missed the first 2 courses of the 8 course dinner( even though i didn’t pay for it like everyone else ), no thanks to the banker’s incompetence in geographically locating a place. One would have thought his topo map reading skills honed during his days at SISPEC would have served him well…apparently not.
continued in part 2
-WUMmy
Filed under: Music
Nirvana’s Nevermind is widely regarded as their best work, if not critically, then commercially. Some hardcore fans might argue that In Utero is a superior piece of work, which may be right, but Nevermind in the eyes of the majority is the definitive Nirvana album that shot them to superstardom. It is also an album that gets regularly ranked among the best albums of the last decade, if not the century. Nevermind is hardly one of my favourite albums. I listened to it for a month back in 99, and then condemned it to spend much of its time shelved in some deep forgotten corner where I am least likely to find it. Now and then, I uncover the dust ridden cd when some clueless knob makes a request to borrow it. (Sorry cousin, no offence meant). The best known track from that album is Smells like teen spirit which I have to admit is a fast rollicking catchy tune that I was addicted to…for about a week. The other better known singles from the album are Come as you are, In bloom and Lithium which admittedly are all good tunes as well. (Personally my favorite nirvana track comes out of In Utero; the truly magnificent Heart-shaped box.)
