Filed under: Movies
Everyone loves watching quality films. While we are all guilty from to time of indulging in trashy mediocre Hollywood abominations for a multitude of reasons; that can vary from “I was feeling bored out of my skull and that password for the ‘In The Vip’ doesn’t work anymore.” to “We were having a class reunion and i can’t help it if my mates have lousier taste than a 5 year old.” More often than not though, we attempt to be shrewd when it comes to throwing the wad around at the movies or deciding if that download is worth that extra bandwidth. But obviously the opinion of what makes a quality film varies among individuals. While some people’s idea of a quality film might be something along the lines of Francis Ford Coppola’s Godfather, others aren’t ashamed (misguidedly so) to admit to belonging to the Titanic “100 club” (meaning they loveeeed it enough to have seen it 100 times on the big screen).
Anyway I’m not going to discuss something as subjective as what makes or doesn’t make a quality film since that would be a pointless exercise that would merely serve to show me up for the elitist movie buff with superior taste that I am. But what I’m going to do is present to you some of my personal favourite moments from some of the most astounding movies that I have had the pleasure to watch. The scenes from these films, in my humble opinion of course, are defining moments of classic cinema; and while the films in their entirety may at times fall short of achieving greatness, these scenes do not. So courtesy of the lovely folk who posted these little clips on ‘You Tube’, I present to you in no particular order,the first installment of a list of “the finest moments on celluloid”.
Filed under: AVB EXPOSE
The AVB prides itself in bringing to you some of the most in depth observations in the neo and pseudo illusory worlds we tend to live in. That these worlds are mostly the product of “chasing the white dragon” are not lost on our loyal readers.
If there is one thing that has routinely puzzled us, it is the value of academics in this routinely arse fucked world. Yes, I do yours, someone does mine. Is it a wonder then that the fertility rate is quite a shameful statistic in this fine country. Random thought: LHL should copy Bush in his State of the Union address. Except ours would be the State of the Union of GRCs, RCs, BCs, BSs and S-11s.
Anyhow, we’d like to think we built this fine nation on the foundation of racial harmony and shutting down all sectarian violence with the proverbial whip. In fact, the AVB itself prides itself on irony by making the ethnic minority, the marjority. AND included a bird. A fine fly-by-wire mynah if you will.
Alas, we turn the spotlight today on a pride-of-the-Punjabs, AVB acolyte who feels that the only way to solve her academic liabilities is to broach the racial divide. And how better to get the point across than scribbling it onto your examination answer booklet. Just blindside the broads. Down with the walls.
me: heard u write letter to prof all in ur booklet
she: aiyah i cudnt do the math paper so i got pissed off and i was done with 45 mins to spare. didnt wanna walk out, so i decided to write a few jokes. sadly i wrote a racist joke!
me: uh huh, go on, you whinger.
she: and then i wrote a note to my tutor saying that i did all d tutorials and studied so damn hard yet i cant seem to do the paper.. so there must be sumthing wrong with d paper.
me: what was the joke about then?
she: a chinese man walks into a bar and sees a black man serving drinks so he goes up to the bar and says “yo nigga hit me with a vodka”. the black man was naturally offended and said”that was nasty man. how abt if we exchange places? how would u feel?”. the chinese man thought abt it for a while and said…”okay” so they exchanged spots.. and the black man walked into the bar and went straight to the chinese man and asked him for a whiskey.
the chinese man replied “sorry, we don’t serve niggas”.
me: man, that was nasty. what if your marker is a black dude?
she: i like d joke. all my jokes are racist or vulgar la
Nice. And now we can all sleep soundly and wait for The New Paper to pick up on it. You still have a saving grace though love, you could sue their panties off on basis of exam script confidentiality if it makes its way there. Whatever the case, you cunts heard it here first.
Remember, remember the Hock Lee Bus Riots. Amen.
- ah_neh
Filed under: Music
Just a little history to kick things off: way back before the people at Music Television forgot what the “M” in “MTV” stands for (and flooded the network with stupid “reality” shows 24/7), there was an excellent programme called MTV Unplugged. Featuring rock musicians in an intimate, stripped-down setting, it showed just what they could do if there ever was a power failure during one of their concerts.
Since its inception in 1989, Unplugged has seen its share of memorable performances from all sorts of singers and bands, ranging from the classic (Eric Clapton) to the pretty good (Nirvana), and to the just plain weird (Jay-Z). Today, I feature five of my favourite performances from the series.
Filed under: Shout Out
WUMmy: My granddad used to own half of Katong…
The Banker: yeah yeah..
Pre: yes you mentioned
The Banker: here comes the story…
Pre: haha!
The Banker: on how his granddad lost his fortune to his Malay mistresses…
WUMmy: no that’s different…that’s my great granddad who owned half of johore..
The Banker:.. And how his granddad rode around in a horse in his plantations…
WUMmy: yes…the cunt! He never once thought about his future generations..
The Banker: Haw Haw!
WUMmy: Pre here also comes from a once rich family
The Banker: Ahhh..interesting. In the Siglap area?
Pre: oh no haha…it’s not about the area…it’s about the family business. Area wise we used to live in Grange road and one tree hill.
WUMmy: One tree hill?!! There is a place called One Tree Hill?!! Haw haw haw!
Pre: Yes WUMmy, there is a One Tree Hill in Singapore.
The Banker: An AVB investigation perhaps?
WUMmy: into?
The Banker: Where is this One Tree Hill place?
WUMmy: I have a gut feeling about this One Tree Hill place.
Pre: It’s near Grange road.
WUMmy: sounds shady…
Pre: Pfft! go check it up if you want… i have letters addressed to the old house.
WUMmy: No no…I believe you.. it’s just that the place doesn’t sound right.
The Banker: another ghetto?
WUMmy: suspect some illegal activities could have taken place there..
The Banker: sounds a bit dodgy
WUMmy: yeah…we need to investigate this one tree hill…
The Banker: the next red light district?
WUMmy: …Its current occupants and its old…
The Banker: queers maybe?
Pre: Grange Road is in town area…
WUMmy: We could dig up some dirt..
Pre: okay actually you should do a post. it’d be interesting… i have no idea what became of the place… you have to credit me for telling you about one tree hill though.
WUMmy: Well we will…hopefully we wont have to mention with regards to its less glamourous side if we manage to dig up any dirt from its past..
Pre: hahaha im pretty sure you wont find anything bad.
Filed under: AVB exclusive
For years, NTU (Nanyang Technological University) had been associated with everything that defines an unexciting mundane tertiary institution that steers itself clear off anything controversial.Too sanitised and squeaky clean for our own good, the student and staff populace was by and large said to be made up of the most mindnumbingly boring bunch of twats to walk the island( and we cannot disprove that). Apart from transient grass smoking minorities, the rare large scale disputes (indians and alcohol can be a destructive concotion), and occasional scandals involving lecherous professors and their underaged mistresses, life in NTU could be most positively described as uneventful.
But apparently now, in recent times drastic changes have taken place at the institution. Word had spread that an underground ring made up of the most nefarious individuals have taken control of the institution and are currently running all “illegal activities”. Masterminding and scheming behind the scenes, engineering assaults on canteen stall holders who refuse to pay “protection money”; dictating everything from low level sabotaging of lectures to high level football betting scams, these men have instilled fear into the hearts of the student and staff populace alike. (more…)
Filed under: Romantic Liasions
So things didn’t really work out with Ronnie. It was an erratic experience filled with highs and lows ( i guess more lows than highs) . If any of you clueless fuckwits have no idea what i’m going on about, please refer to the following link. http://antivbrigade.wordpress.com/2006/08/27/ronnie-and-i/
But in the end, i guess all good things do come to an end.Our “relationship” which lasted for about 2 months, was an “ill advised venture” to put it mildly. It was an error of judgement on my part for “jumping” into it. My excuse is that I was feeling a little lost, and i was just looking for an escape route from the emotional turmoil that was plaguing me . Well it turned out to be merely a temporary antidote.What began like a dream quickly soured and things got ugly. The “honey moon” period on hindsight feels shorter now than it actually was.
I guess the main reason it failed so spectacularly were the differences that set us apart. Ronnie and i could never agree on most things.For a Mcdonalds mascot, the red headed bastard had terrible taste in music. Take a quick glance at his music collection , and you would find utter dross ranging from Bob Dylan to Joy Division. I mean honestly, whoever listens to that kind of rubbish these days. I tried getting him into some quality music, but musical genius like Sum 41 apparently just wasn’t his cup of tea. His reaction to whenever i play one of their records was one of stoney silence. Something i find very patronising.
Well the last straw for me was just a couple of weeks back when he refused to make out with me because i insisted that Burger King is a superior fast food outlet to McDonalds. He took great offence to it,and accused me of being disloyal and showing a lack of support for his interests. Apparently, it was also not in the best interest of Mcdonalds for their mascot to be seen making out with someone who is always seen publicly munching on a double whopper (with cheese and its pureeee fuckin heaven).So we parted ways. The break up was a long time coming, but it was still not easy to deal with. I teared uncontrollably as i stormed off, but Ronnie was his usual stoic unexpressive self. The heartless bastard. Well atleast i had the pleasure of dumping someone for once.And it felt good.
So that night, i wandered aimlessly along boat quay drunken and heartbroken when i stumbled upon this stranger. We connected instantly with the kind of chemistry Ronnie and i never shared.We kissed and made out with passion burning within us, like we had been lovers for years. He had a magnificent tongue that sexy gentleman. Much more than i can say for Ronnie, who if i have to be honest is a dreadful kisser.Well perhaps i’m just being bitter.But hey, you can’t blame me for being that way.I’m only human. Anyway, when i woke up the next morning, he was gone. I was saddened but i will never forget him for that one truly memorable night.I just like to say, whoever you are sir, and wherever you are… thank you.
Eat your heart out Ronnie!!!
- WUMmy
