Filed under: Shout Out
It has been quite a while since I last contributed anything. I have been busy juggling my personal and work related responsibilities. My life has been revolving around nothing but work and relationship. And when I do have the time, I relax by watching some television. Swedish television that is.
One fine Sunday, while I was channel surfing I came across a program that astonished me to the extent that it made me reaffirm certain conclusions i had previously made.
1) Reality television has turned into some kind of a pseudo horror show.
2)This is the end of family prime time TV as we know it.
3) Men will always be just that… ‘Men’.
There is this show which calls itself Something about Miriam. In this show…well there is ’something’ about this apparently ‘perfect’ being who happens to go by the name of errr… Miriam. Something… errr rather horrifying. But the participants who are blissfully unaware of this little ’something’ all errr… fall madly in ‘love’ with this creature of temptation.
What really puzzled me is how a man could possibly fall for a woman, to the extent of expressing his sincerity by composing poems, simply based on her looks. I think men at times are very superficial. That includes myself. We just fall for something that is errr… ‘beautiful’. Beauty has always been our prime weakness.
And just like all the other reality tv shows, every episode the contestants get booted out when they have failed a challenge. In the end, two men were left standing expressing their undying love for Miriam in the form of a poem.
What they had been blissfully unware of to this point that little Miriam is actually little Michael! Miriam is a man. Horrifiying?!!. Remember Denise?!!
- the Consultant
Filed under: Music
Anyone who remotely knows the music of Nine Inch Nails (NIN) would be familar with perhaps Trent Reznor’s most famous song, ‘Hurt’ , from 2005’s opus Downward Spiral. Unlike NIN’s more generic tracks which tend to be a little heavier, leaning towards the industrial genre with its elaborate layering of electronic beats and noisy guitars, this track is a melodic ballad of sorts with some of Reznor’s most heart wrenching lyrics ever.
The track had also been covered by Johnny Cash shortly before his passing a few years back; a powerful rendition which led to Reznor declaring that the song was no longer his; that Cash had made it his own. Of course that is arguable, and i am quite certain many fans of NIN would beg to differ.
But more recently, trawling through cyberspace resulted in me discovering this little gem. And i have to say this to Trent Reznor. You’re right about one thing. The song is no longer yours. But it isn’t Johnny Cash’s either. It is Kermit The Frog’s.
I present to you with much pleasure,courtesy of the idiots from Youtube; ‘Hurt’ as covered by Kermit The Frog.
Hurt – Kermit The Frog
- WUMmy
Filed under: The Banker's Teenage Diaries
The 5th in this unusually popular series.*shrugs*
Well, it is already the 19th day of the fasting month. 11 more days to Hari Raya Aidilfitri.*can’t wait can’t wait.* During the weekend, my family and I went down to Geylang Serai at around 10p.m. *The significance of that time would be?* We bought new things such as songkok, table cloths and many more. Also, I met Sidek Saniff. *Who is Sidek Saniff?*When I went to the Malay Village, I met my cousin at the hawker stalls with his friends.* your cousin gangster huh?* I also managed to meet my friends. Although it was late, many people were still doing their shopping. There sure were a lot of stalls. The colour of my baju kurung this year is green. I have not yet decided whether to go out with friends or not. *I think the decision really lies with your friends if they actually want to go out with YOU.*
Yesterday, we have been told that there would a be study hour after assembly. It is cruel and preposterous. * Haw Haw Haw! Fuckin makes want to leap and punch the air when i read stuff like this.* Tuesday is a day where I can go home early and relax early before I do my homework. Which student would be crazy enough to spend about 9 hours in school. *Apparently your teachers figured you lot fit the bill* I just seem to be unable to study in school. Its better to study at home. Well, one has to persevere.*That is the spirit lad!*
I have just started giving out Hari Raya cards. But there seems to be a problem. I am wondering if I should give a certain person a card or not. *Ooohh… an ol boyfriend perhaps…or gasp girlfriend? An arch rival perhaps who you wanted to make peace with? Sidek Saniff? WHO? WHO? WHO?* It is better to send it anonymous or sign my name on it. But I have decided to send it by a messenger. Well, enough of that.
I seem to have noticed that there are traitors in my midst. They seem to be evil. But I know that good people like me shall triumph over those who are evil. Mark my words.*Now i am perplexed. I thought you were suposed to be 15 when you wrote this…not 5?!!*
28 January 1997
Filed under: AVB Proclamations
The AVB has always been known to be a peaceful outfit. However, unknown to our loyal readers, the outfit recently was on the verge of a major break up of Lennon-McCartney proportions.
Certain key figures of the AVB were concerned over a certain member of the group, who was apparently breaking one of the fundamental rules governing the AVB.(ie. the football related posts that have recently sprung up). Others were even speculating that the AVB was becoming pro-Manchester United (heaven forbid). Certainly, a particular member’s vision for the outfit were not in sync with the rest and was potentially hazardous to the well being of the closely knit ties that had been taken great care to be forged within the organisation. It will probably be no surprise to many that profanity is often the staple fare in AVB board meetings. But the most recent one turned into something unprecedentedly ugly, splitting the AVB into two warring factions. There were even threats made by one individual, which anonymous sources claim to be the Banker, to quit in protest to the defiance showed by another, rumoured to be a certain wind up merchant, with regards to the ‘football related’ posts.
Fortunately the opposing factions reached a consensus and reconciled their differences amicably. This prevented what could have been a mass exodus which could have killed off the AVB as we know it. When contacted to give a comment, the press secretary of the Banker was kind enough to give us the following statement.
“I’m very pleased that everything turned out ok. Finally he has seen the light and we’ve been able to free him from the blinding darkness that was responsible for the squirm inducing blasphemy he had been churning out….. Fortunately, he has managed to realign himself with the original vision that we had set for this outfit when it was first formed.”
Through the press secretary, we were also able to get hold of the document that binds all parties to prevent any future altercations within the fellowship as well as preserve the harmony.
The Agreement
1. The Banker will work on his side project, the Anti G Platoon.
2. The Banker will continue posting his wildly popular ‘Teenage Diaries’ series on a regular basis.
3. A declaration that there will be no more football related posts; especially anything that glorifies or has anything of any reference to Manchester United in order to preserve the harmony within the AVB.
27th March 2007
And with that, we end this official “unofficial” announcement.
-the Editor
Filed under: The Banker's Teenage Diaries
The 4th in the series of seemingly neverending walk down memory lane.
Well today is Thursday and the 14th day of Ramadan. 16 more days to Hari Raya Aidilfitri.* do we really need a countdown.*
The new timetable started this week.I could not believe it when I saw that there was going to PE for the first two periods. Then we have to wear the sticky PE kit for the next two whole periods. *Surely you would demand to be allowed to change. i mean being anti-establishment and all, i am sure you wouldn’t stand for the suffocation of such basic human rights.*
Well, its the Thursday. We have soo many tests this week. Next week, we have English and Chemistry Tests. Tomorrow, I have to hand in my geography file, maths file and a few more things.*Ahh the woes of a schooling singaporean teenager….heartbreaking*
For Hari Raya, maybe I will not go out with my friends. I think i’ll be too lazy for that. Anyway,anyone who wants to visit me will have to think twice. I won’t let anyone pass security. I will inform security to drive away anyone who wishes to visit me.* Really… you don’t really have to worry about anyone visiting you. 
* Anyway, my parents will not be giving away money to the older kids. Looks like my “collection” will decrease vastly this year. Well, see ya soon buds.
Maybe this coming weekend I will drop by Geylang Serai to buy Hari Raya stuff. I have yet to buy my baju kurung and all the works. I am thinking of buying new shoes but I guess my old and seasoned ones will just have to do. I have not yet bought Hari Raya cards which are to be given to friends. Maybe, I’ll just buy the cheapest ones. * And he calls me a cheap bastard*Anyhow, a card does not express one’s love or forgiveness to another. It will be better if you asked for forgiveness in person.*oh…wise beyond your years you are lad. Well ahead of your time. you ought to be a philosopher*
There seems to be a new “Alanis Morisette” in my class. She keeps crooning about how ironic and how life is such a bore. Well, I hope you win some award for your singing.*you wouldn’t say that if she’s even half fit you fuckin bigot*
23 January 1997
Filed under: super d's musings
Pa is watching something stupid on TV. He laughs funny. Ma is doing her marking on the dining table.she works hard my Ma; unlike Pa. He only ever watches TV. I managed to climb out of my crib and sneak into the study room without anyone noticing. This is my fourth time on Pa’s laptop. He is yet to discover that I have been on it without his knowledge. He probably never will. I always ensure i never leave any evidence. Uncle WUMmy constantly reminds me to delete the internet sites I visit from ‘History’. I told him I did not think it would make much of a difference. It is not like my parents would ever think it was me who visited the ‘Red Issue’ site or the ‘Silverbluefox’ site for that matter. Why would they? But Uncle WUMmy insists I should not take risks. Uncle WUMmy laughs funny too. I suspect it runs in the family; though I certainly hope I do not laugh like that some day
My parents are not aware that I am able to speak,read, write and yes… type. I have been able to speak for about 6 months now; and maybe read and write for about 4 to 5 months . Typing is something I picked up more recently. My parents are as Uncle WUMmy would put it, ‘clueless’ of my abilities. Grandma and Grandpa are also just as ‘clueless’. It was Uncle WUMmy who first discovered that I am what he describes as ‘special’. He caught me one day a few months back attempting to read a few lines from a novel in his room.I cannot recall the title, but i think it was by Anthony Swofford. Uncle WUMmy looked at me with amazement. It did not occur to me then that it was not normal for a 9 month old to be able to speak, never mind read. Uncle WUMmy later said he had alot more novels, but that the Banker borrowed them all. He constantly complains that the Banker never returns them.
Uncle WUMmy was not the first person to hear me speak though. I think it was Grandma. She fell asleep beside my crib one afternoon only to wake up to hear me pronounce the word ‘Maa-n-ches-terrr’. She fainted. She woke up hours later and went about her business like nothing unusual happened. She must have thought it was a dream.
Ok…I think I will end my first entrée here. I think Pa’s TV show is coming to an end. I need to log out and sneak back into my crib. I will post again soon. Bye Bye.
Oh and please do access the link below.I am just following Uncle WUMmy’s instructions. It is an online article by the Independant which promotes the idea that ‘Metal’ is the genre of music preferred by child prodigies like myself. Well, i have yet to explore realm of music. But i am certain i will soon enough with the guidance of Uncle WUMmy.
http://news.independent.co.uk/uk/this_britain/article2377708.ece
- Super D
