the anti V brigade

To all the dentists and future dentists out there who can drive, congratulations; to those who don’t and don’t want to, congratulations X10. To those who are trying, I hope my story will console you. (it definitely won’t inspire)

The first series of culture shocks was at registration. I still remember the day I registered as clearly as if it were yesterday although it was a long time ago. It was in early May. First, I had to stand in a queue to get my queue number. It was a sign of things to come. However there were many service counters and I was happy to note that my number was two away from being called. I waited 45 minutes. When I finally went to the counter, I felt a little unimportant without a diary full of appointments like the last two guys. Even then , the first lessons I could get were in September

So September it was. The receptionist then asked me a deceptively difficult question. She asked me how many lessons I would like to book. I thought for a while and decided 12 should be enough but wondered if should book 15 just to be safe. I finally told her 15. She coolly informed me that I had to book a minimum of 25. I told her that I was sure that 25 lessons were the minimum for the average person but that I was quite confident I wouldn’t need that much. Why I was more confident than anyone else was, I didn’t know and she didn’t ask. She didn’t have to. She merely told me that it was centre policy. I later realized that the words ” It’s centre policy” or it’s equivalent was something like a mantra among the staff. One, which they chanted mindlessly when anyone tried to reason with them.

I finally “agreed” to book 25 lessons at $65 a slot. The receptionist finally asked me if I wanted to pay an extra $7 per slot to get an instructor of my choice. I didn’t even dignify that question with a response.

When September finally came, I had passed my basic theory test and gotten my Provisional Driving License. To be fair, most of the driving instructors were quite systematic and helpful. However there were some who were obviously employed by the centre to scare customers into paying the extra $7 for an instructor of their choice. The lessons dragged on for quite a while, as I had to cancel and reschedule quite a few lessons along the way.

One day, I received a very threatening letter from the centre. It was warning me that my course was going to expire soon and if it did, I would have to retake my basic theory test, and all the practical lessons. However I could avert this disaster by extending my course before a certain date. The extension fee was $50. Basically what they were telling me was that not only did I have to pay $50 for no real service, I had to do so immediately. Eventually I made the not so difficult choice of extending my pdl and the course. Then, all was well again. I continued going for my twice-weekly driving lessons and along the way sat for and passed my advanced theory test. I came to the point where I was just three “stages” away from completion. I went to book my practical test. Yet another deceptively nice lady at the counter asked me if had completed all my driving lesson “stages”. When I told her, She politely told me that I had to complete all the stages before I could book the test. As politely as I could, I told her that I was fairly confident that I could complete the pathetic last three stages in the two months I had to wait for the next practical test. She smiled even as she used the words of war

“ I’m sorry it’s the centre’s policy”

It was only with great self-restraint that I did not hit anyone that day.

To be continued

- The Dentist