Filed under: The Banker's Teenage Diaries
The 9th part of this epic saga
Well, we are in the middle of February. Hari Raya Aidilfitri season is almost finishing. * so it’s still not over yet?!! When the fuck will it ever end?!!* All my friends have a lot of money right now except me. I am soo poor.* you poor bastard you*
Last Saturday, we had remedial. It was for Maths. But I had bad news. It seems that I have to bring extra books this week and beyond for the Maths lesson. My bag is already heavy and the teacher expects me to bring more books.*i am disappointed, i thought being a bona fide rebel you wouldn’t be arsed with bringing all your books to school; another myth shattered*
After the remedial a tragedy happened. I only found out that the people from my class and E2 went out for Hari Raya roundings. It seems they did not want me to follow and did not invite me. I feel betrayed.* some tragedy that. you ought to have killed yourself. Now that would be a tragedy.* I found out from my friend that they went to a lot of places. They went to all their friends houses. I feel as though as though I am an outcast.*so this isn’t a recent development then* When I asked a few of them, they told me that I followed them but I can’t seem to remember whether I had followed them. They kept insisting it. I cannot believe that they all would say that I went out with them in order to blind my thoughts into thinking that I went out with them. * i recall this Jedi mind control was all the rage back then* They all finished visiting around 12.30am. I wonder what happened when they got back home. Did their fathers do a flying kick on them? Or did they switch off the lights and have a “blanket party”. Hmm, I wonder.
It seems that a lot of teachers are trying not to have students coming over by coming up with excuses such as got family problems, going out or they will be in school. Well, they cannot fool me that easily.*i wouldn’t dream of anyone ever being able to fool you*
I wondered whether they would have the courtesy to call on me when they went out last Saturday. They told me that they had some kind of trouble in going to certain places and they did not know my telephone number. Also, I found out that they did not have time to complete their roundings as they missed places such as friends homes in Tampines, Bedok, Johor, Woodlands, Yishun. I guess, next time, they should hire a bus as transportation time would be cut.* you genius you*
But hey, it is allright if they did not invite me to their outings and homes. I guess they may think I am evil at heart and not a good student. That’s your problem. I have got no problems with you. *yes, i’m absolutely convinced of that.*
18 February 1997
Filed under: The Greatest Joke Ever Told
He decides that it’s time to try the windshield wiper fluid. He can’t wait any longer – if he passes out, he’s dead. He stops in the shade of a large rock, takes the bottle out, opens it, and takes a mouthful. He slowly swallows it, making it last as long as he can. It feels so good in his dry and cracked throat that he doesn’t even care about the nasty taste. He takes another mouthful, and makes it last too. Slowly, he drinks half the bottle. He figures that since he’s drinking it, he might as well drink enough to make some difference and keep himself from passing out.
He’s quit worrying about the denaturing of the wiper fluid. If it kills him, it kills him – if he didn’t drink it, he’d die anyway. Besides, he’s pretty sure that whatever substance they denature the fluid with is just designed to make you sick – their way of keeping winos from buying cheap wiper fluid for the ethanol content. He can handle throwing up, if it comes to that.
He walks. He walks in the hot, dry, windless desert. Sand, rocks, hills, dunes, the occasional scrawny cactus or dried bush. No sign of water. Sometimes he’ll see a little movement to one side or the other, but whatever moved is usually gone before he can focus his eyes on it. Probably birds, lizards, or mice. Maybe snakes, though they usually move more at night. He’s careful to stay away from the movements.
Filed under: The Greatest Joke Ever Told
So, there’s a man crawling through the desert.
He’d decided to try his SUV in a little bit of cross-country travel, had great fun zooming over the badlands and through the sand, got lost, hit a big rock, and then he couldn’t get it started again. There were no cell phone towers anywhere near, so his cell phone was useless. He had no family, his parents had died a few years before in an auto accident, and his few friends had no idea he was out here.He stayed with the car for a day or so, but his one bottle of water ran out and he was getting thirsty. He thought maybe he knew the direction back, now that he’d paid attention to the sun and thought he’d figured out which way was north, so he decided to start walking. He figured he only had to go about 30 miles or so and he’d be back to the small town he’d gotten gas in last.
He thinks about walking at night to avoid the heat and sun, but based upon how dark it actually was the night before, and given that he has no flashlight, he’s afraid that he’ll break a leg or step on a rattlesnake. So, he puts on some sun block, puts the rest in his pocket for reapplication later, brings an umbrella he’d had in the back of the SUV with him to give him a little shade, pours the windshield wiper fluid into his water bottle in case he gets that desperate, brings his pocket knife in case he finds a cactus that looks like it might have water in it, and heads out in the direction he thinks is right.
Filed under: Shout Out
I have been in Europe for quite awhile now. A German mate of mine sent me this clip to me which i found hilarious. The Germans have a problem with pronouncing ‘th’ and some of them actually do speak like this.
- the Consultant
Filed under: The Banker's Teenage Diaries
The 8th in this mundane series.
Well, it is almost the end of the week.* do the eyes deceive?No more opening references to Hari Raya? It’s overrrrrrr…It’s finally overrrrrr! YESSSSSSS!* But it is still hell for me. On the last two days of the week, I have two tests and it ain’t one of my favourite subjects which are Maths and Physics. Right now, I seem to be lagging behind in my school work. * yeah, before this moment you were doing just fine weren’t you*I guess this may due to the long holiday where I never touched a single textbook.
On Saturday, all my friends are planning to go to their friends’ homes. I guess I will not be going as I am not a people person. * of course you aren’t you uber-hip antisocial nonconformist you* It is better to stay at home with the family. *now now, that’s not too hip at all*
For the past two days, there have been many people visting my humble home. This has affected my studies due to the loud noise created by the talking adults and the screaming children. * So it has nothing to do with you not touching your test books then?* I can’t seem to study as I am easily affected by all the festive mood.*Poor you. The audacity of these people to have fun at the expense of your academics.Twats.*
13 February 1997
