the anti V brigade

January 29, 2007, 2:25 am
Filed under: Shout Out

A couple of months back I posted this. Hardly my proudest moment, it is one of those acts of the crudely impulsive nature that you later reflect upon and regret pointlessly about. This act of rash naivety is not too dissimilar from that of the highly enlightened individuals who had conceived ‘Goal 2010. The higher powers in question who in a euphoric stupor envisioned this mockery can rightly be ashamed of themselves on hindsight and even be forgiven; though if we they insist on looking for a scapegoat, they can look no further than that tall, burly, not to mention laughably untalented excuse for a footballer whose shoulder blade (perhaps the only bone in his body with any flair for this wonderful game) directly influenced the result meriting the birth of this short lived flight of fantasy. Anyhow, this where I will cease digressing and return to the main subject of this entrée.

People think I’ve lost my marbles because of my recent dalliances with relationships of the inanimate nature. Though my brief stint with Ronnie ended in tears, it is not by any means one which I regret. It was an enriching experience that opened my eyes to the endless possibilities of deviant experimentation. In any case, in recent times I got myself acquainted with kindred souls who themselves have been recipients of the great joys which accompany such relationships. This fine and well bred lass was caught unawares here in midst of an intimate act ; though it must be noted that this image is hardly as iconic or nearly as alluring as my own. In any case, this shows evidence that there are other people out there who share an affinity with yours truly.


Ronnie has moved on. I could not bring myself to believe this when I this particular bit of information reached my ears a few weeks ago. Rumour mongers are known to spin tales for the sake of their own crass amusement and I knew plenty of those types. So I refused to be drawn into such stories without concrete evidence to support this tale. But I guess it could have also been a simple case of denial; a refusal on my part to accept that Ronnie could actually find it in himself to move on so quickly to the next phase of his plastic life with such relative ease. Then just a few daysago I chanced upon this abomination.

My reaction to viddying this ghastly picture was anything but indicative of sheer delight my friends. It began with a litany of colourful profanity, some generic, and some concoctions of my woefully wonderful fertile imagination, which I delivered with impressive verbal gusto. It was then followed by controlled and measured weeping; an art which I must add requires adroit manipulation of one’s tear ducts. And then I concluded my theatrics with a violently executed barf which resulted in half digested teriyaki chicken from the previous night exiting my mouth,(it must be noted that projectile path taken was that of a parabola of the most scientifically perfect) whizzing past a ducking old geezer, over the head of a little lass indulging on her Cornetto before splattering in the least flattering manner imaginable on the face of an unfortunate bloke who at that moment was bent on his knees proposing to his childhood sweetheart. Needless to say, the bloke in question was not too chuffed by my flair for vomitory dynamics. But if you were wondering, she said “yes” in spite of the devastating consequence of my little heartbreak.

Well, Ronnie has moved on. So must I.




4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

I’m not trying to add oil to fire here….since you’re nursing a broken heart and all….but word around town is that Ronnie says this dude is way better kisser than you…less tongue apparently…

Comment by The Girl

abominable. detestable. simply horrendous.Alas! i have been exposed.

Comment by sads

I say buy Ronnie V Day roses.

Shameless pluggin I know. But not my problem.

Comment by ah neh

poor sel. don’t worry love.. there are lots more statues around town for you to work your magic on!

Comment by aarthi

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